kicking the stuffing out of cancer

as i mentioned yesterday, over the weekend i participated in the kick the stuffing out of cancer event that helped to raised money for the huntsman cancer institute thanksgiving morning. you could either do a 2 mile walk/run or participate in the 4 mile walk/run. i decided to do the 4 mile run with my sister & other members of our family (our dad, my brother in-law and our younger sister) did the 2 mile.

my brother in-law pushing my niece and nephew

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1. there’s the four times i had to test out of gym in high school and had to run a mile outside on the track and i only endured it because i so much preferred tracy garrick’s (her last name at the time) aerobic class any day over gym!!! that class kicked my butt each and every day and i loved it! it was way better than playing basketball or whatever it is people do in gym class. i actually don’t remember because i didn’t take any gym after about 7th grade.
2. there’s the time we were running a relay for a ward activity at BYU-I and a person on our team bailed so i jumped in seconds before and sprinted once around the track. i’m pretty sure my time wasn’t half bad, although losing my dinner upon finishing wasn’t so delightful. yeah, talk about embarrassing.
3. then there’s the time i thought “i can run on a treadmill, outside isn’t so different? besides if i can teach a step class, i can totally run outside” and then tried to run outside around rexburg with the guy i was kind of dating at the time. oh he got a good laugh when i made it maybe a few blocks. in my defense though, we’re taking rexburg in the middle of winter. it was probably below freezing. so much for opening my big mouth though! truly an open mouth insert foot moment.
4. last but not least, there’s the 5k i did with my sister this last summer that we ran/walked (mostly walked) and finished in around 48-50 minutes. mind you, i was pushing a stroller, but that’s still a crappy time. all well, our only goal was to finish and that we did!

with my brother, conner

there you have it, my running history in it’s entirety. definitely pitiful. i’ve just never really seen the draw? put me in a kickboxing class…great! ask me to take a dance class…even better (i mean i danced for 13 years!). ask me to go to a step or zumba class with you…sounds fun! in fact, back while i was a freshmen at BYU-I actually certified to be a fitness instructor. so it’s not that i don’t like exercise or being active, i just prefer other methods than running.

i decided though this last month that it was time to give running a real true try by participating in the 4 mile event. of course i guess i can only call it a real true try if you count running on the treadmill a few times for 3-4 miles and then running on the actually day of the event a real try? i’m counting it.

i’m counting it because da da da! i ran four miles outside in it’s entirety on thanksgiving morning! no walking & no stopping (other than tying my shoe lace once!). i ran four miles outside!!! pretty sure i’ve never done that before, like ever! in fact pretty sure other than running four miles on a treadmill a few days before, i’ve never run four miles in my life.

did it suck? yes! did i think, why am i doing this? yes! did i want to be home in my bed warm and sleeping instead? yes! did i want to throw up when i finished? total yes! did i think at one point, “well shoot, my ipod isn’t working, guess i can bail? yes yes yes! did i contemplate maybe just doing the two miles and walking that to boot? yes! did i think to myself, “i really should just walk some, there’s no shame in walking”? yes!

why did i do it then? i did it because i’ve noticed a trend in my life that i don’t always follow through on some things i say i’m going to do. my perfection mentality kicks in. ie. since i can’t run the four miles in like record time then why even try? i can almost always find an excuse not to give my all or not to fully participate. i’m so awesome at rationalization! this time though, i decided i was going to do it! i was going to simply follow through. i was going to run the entire four miles! i didn’t care about my time. i didn’t care about anything other than finishing actually and you know what, i did it! was it a life changing moment? probably not. was it a moment of some clarity though? i think so.

as i mentioned my ipod wasn’t working and the only mode i could get it into was shuffle/genius mode and so i ran to feng shui melodies & jim brickman tunes the majority of the way. since i wasn’t really into my music, i had the 4 miles to think. to think about what i was doing.  i thought about a lot of things. i thought about how my husband and son were home in bed and i could be there too. i thought about how i left my sister to run on my own. i thought about how amazing our bodies are and that they are meant to be used and stretched and pushed.i thought about my grandma who passed away because of cancer in september. i thought of the fight she put up. i thought of the strength she showed during her two year battle. i thought of how she lived her life and always took great care of her body. i thought of how i had so many reasons to say “i can’t run 4 miles.” or “it doesn’t matter if i run 4 miles”. i thought of a million excuses to stop, but then i decided to remove can’t from my vocabulary and remembered a line from a song i heard on the radio “impossible isn’t a word, it’s just an excuse for people too lazy to try!”.  i decided i could. i decided it was possible and you know what? it was. i saw a possibility where i had never seen one before & that my friends is how we change our lives. it’s how we grow. it’s how we do what hasn’t been done before. i also thought of the fight my grandma put up against cancer and decided if she could endure that with a smile of her face for the majority of it, i could surely endure 4 miles.

the point of all this is to say, look at your life and see where you are saying “i can’t”. then remove the can’t and replace it with can and start to look for the reasons that support why you can, start looking for the motivation to support what you previously thought you couldn’t do. look for the possibilities. you might be amazed at what you can actually accomplish. i honestly never thought i would run more than a mile or two and now i know i can! funny enough, i may actually sign up for another running event even though i still don’t really like running. i think it’s good to do things we sometimes don’t like doing though, because sometime it’s the things that we don’t like to do, that get us to where we want to be.

in fact my exact words to my mom after i got done, were “i hate running, but i hate being fat even more…so i run!”.

after running the 4 miles 

what is something you’ve been saying you “can’t do” or “don’t want to do”? share below in the comments and rephrase it as a can statement! 

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